So it seems I’m (rather reluctantly) entering my mid-20s, and it got me thinking about the things I should know by the time I am 25. Being a child of the internet age, I decided to google just that (See #3 plus one point for me!), and as it turns out, I’m not doing so well. So in the next year I will attempt to learn how to do all of the following….
1. Build a Fire – Fire produces heat and light, two basic necessities for living. At some point in your life this knowledge may be vital. (Believe it or not, most boy scouts and my brother would know how to do this, so I suppose I should catch up.)
2. Operate a Computer – Fundamental computer knowledge is essential these days. Please, help those in need.
3. Use Google Effectively – Google knows everything (TRUTH). If you’re having trouble finding something with Google, it’s you that needs help. (THANK YOU THESIS, you did equip me with a useful life skill after all)
4. Perform CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver – Someday it may be your wife, husband, son or daughter that needs help. (I really just want to be able to be the hero someday)
5. Drive a Manual Transmission Vehicle – There will come a time when you’ll be stuck without this knowledge. (Because when the manual is parked in front of the mini, I quite literally cannot leave the house)
6. Do Basic Cooking – If you can’t cook your own steak and eggs, you probably aren’t going to make it. (Thank you, college, for forcing me to feed myself, and sometimes the rest of my house)
7. Tell a Story that Captivates People’s Attention – If you can’t captivate their attention, you should probably just save your breath. (It might be easier for me to just learn how to shut up)
8. Win or Avoid a Fistfight – Either way, you win. (I think it might be more appropriate to say CatFight in my case)
9. Deliver Bad News – Somebody has got to do it. Unfortunately, someday that person will be you.
10. Change a Tire – Because tires have air in them, and things with air in them eventually pop. (Mehh, this is what boyfriends and brothers are for)
11. Handle a Job Interview – I promise, sweating yourself into a nervous panic won’t land you the job.
12. Manage Time – Not doing so is called wasting time, which is okay sometimes, but not all the time. (I suppose what I’m up to right now is the complete opposite of effective time management)
13. Speed Read – Sometimes you just need the basic gist, and you needed it 5 minutes ago. (THANK YOU Professor Batur for the unimaginable amounts of reading)
14. Remember Names – Do you like when someone tries to get your attention by screaming “hey you”?
15. Relocate Living Spaces – Relocating is always a little tougher than you originally imagined. (Again, THANK YOU COLLEGE! 4 years of life x2 into the back of one Escalaaade)
16. Travel Light – Bring only the necessities. It’s the cheaper, easier, smarter thing to do.
17. Handle the Police – Because jail isn’t fun… and neither is Bubba. (I suppose this is why I’m friends with all the Legal Eagles)
18. Give Driving Directions – Nobody likes driving around in circles. Get this one right the first time. (Always in the driver’s seat. Always)
19. Perform Basic First Aid – You don’t have to be a doctor, or genius, to properly dress a wound.
20. Swim – 71% of the Earth’s surface is covered by water. Learning to swim might be a good idea.
21. Parallel Park – Parallel parking is a requirement on most standard driver’s license driving tests, yet so many people have no clue how to do it. How could this be? (Because they teach us with POLES you idiot, do I have poles in the trunk of my car?)
22. Recognize Personal Alcohol Limits – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I think I will put this off till I’m in my late 20s, it certainly will NOT APPLY this year.
23. Select Good Produce – Rotten fruits and vegetables can be an evil tease and an awful surprise.
24. Handle a Hammer, Axe or Handsaw – Carpenters are not the only ones who need tools. Everyone should have a basic understanding of basic hand tools. (No, that’s what brothers and boyfriends are for)
25. Make a Simple Budget – Being in debt is not fun. A simple budget is the key.
As you can see, I do fail at many of these, so while I drag my feet to the quarter century mark, I do hope that I’ve (1) made all of you fail miserably at #12, and (2) think about what you might want at this particular (mini) milestone in life (if you happen to be in the vicinity as well).